A Marriage of Love and Politics

Last weekend, several members of my family gathered in Ashland, Oregon for a wedding. It was about 350 miles each way, up on Saturday, back home on Sunday. That was a lot of driving. It's a shame that we didn't have more time to spend up there. Ashland is a really nice little town.

The wedding was very nice, small (about 35 guests), and meaningful. My nephew and his bride decided to have a completely secular ceremony to avoid problems with conflicting religious doctrines. On her side, there are several fundamentalist Christians who would have found fault with any religious choices that weren't their own, and of course, Daniel is Jewish, which could have led to a very stressed situation. What they chose to do was truly brilliant. They asked a judge to officiate, in part by reading the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage. There was no mention of the source other than it being a Supreme Court document outlining secular marriage. I asked them later why they chose that particular reading and it really wasn't just to avoid the religious issues. I am really gratified to be able to say that it was mainly the historic nature and utter clarity of the new law that outlines the reasons that people get married. They had written their own vows and asked each of their parents to share some beautiful writings aloud. Lunch was simple and delicious and seeing my siblings, mother, a few nieces and nephews, and the bride's family and friends was good. Then we all went home.

For my family, over the past several months, we have had a lot of opportunities to reinforce our relationships by marking important occasions. Last Fall (on Halloween I think), we were very excited when my brother's daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl ; we also celebrated together when my daughter became a Bat Mitzvah in May; we grieved together and apart when my father died last month; and rejoiced together last weekend at my sister's son's wedding. I really like how our cultural traditions, both religious and secular, have given us a framework for maintaining and strengthening our ties.